I’m in favor of the idea of marriage.
Now we all know that about 50% of marriages end up in divorce. To that, I quote my favorite Scrubs line, statistics mean nothing to the individual. So here’s my quick take on marriage, and how I view it as a potential course of action for myself.
The first thing I realized is that not all people are ready to get married. Now this is as simple as it sounds. Infidelity is the number one reason for divorce, (not surprising) and to me, it’s a fairly simple issue. Do you like excitement? Do you crave drama? Do you get bored with one thing easily? Than for the time being, marriage probably isn’t for you! Don’t kid yourself that you’ve found the one because the one simply means the newest one. It takes maturity to value the more timeless characteristics of an individual, not just the superficial. Now if two people stayed exactly the same, then of course things would get boring! But it ‘s much more difficult to grow with a person, than it is to simply move on to somebody new. And like all things worth having, it’s worth working for.
The second issue involves expectations. The part that deals with us guys ties in with the previous section. We’ve grown up on a steady diet of James Bond movies and rap music videos. A tad cliche I admit. But you females! Don’t deny your adolescent brains weren’t saturated with Disney ‘s fantasies about Prince Charming. They sit around waiting for Mr. Perfect to be their one and only soul mate. Both parties expect passion! They demand romance! They want to be swept off their feet and whisked to a magical castle. Like Tyler Durden said We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars… But there is a counter-point to that ideology.
I watched the first 15 minutes of Pixar ‘s UP last night. And I think therein lies the answer. Boy meets girl. Girl has fantastical dreams of flying to South America and building a house on a cliff next to a waterfall. Boy marries girl. And they love each other. And they plan to go to South America. But as they say, life gets in the way. And they love each other, and live life, and are happy. But the dream never materializes. (I bet he takes her ashes to South America in the movie, but the first part is the real, down to earth part!) Now all of it seemed quite mundane and rather uneventful. But it was genuine! There was a mutual enthusiasm! An infections infatuation between two people who lived their lives, together, through thick and thin. That how I see marriage! The enabling of two people, who depend on each other, who support and motivate each other.
I just re-read it all, and I realized both points are pretty interconnected. I think above all, there must be a willingness to work. People are foolish if they think a marriage can last without blood, sweat, and tears. And a marriage can have passion, and romance, and excitement, but it must be maintained. Not fabricated.