I feel like climbing on a (safe but fairly high) ledge somewhere and screaming at the top of my lungs, “Kick me in the butt Universe so that I can get moving on something!!!”
These days, I find myself stuck in muddled middle ground. A bit lackluster. Nonchalant. There are moments of brief inspiration, but the colors seem to fade so quickly.
Half a year has passed and I haven’t really pushed myself creatively, intellectually, or academically. I neglected a new year’s resolution of being Taki-leotard-ready for Comic-Con. #Fail. To compensate for half a year of half-assed attempts, I’ve recently been suffering through an insanely rigorous workout regime. Oddly enough, through these terrible workout pains, I feel ALIVE. I feel like I’m moving towards a goal. When I’m sweating it out, it’s invigorating. I’m engaged. I’m heading somewhere. That’s why I’m documenting it – so that I can ultimately have something to show for this year. (If I fail at this, I will surely die ^_~)
I like to see progress. I yearn for completion. Of something. ANYTHING. I want to look back on this year and see that I’ve grown, excelled, acquired something new. Tangible results. Comprehensive growth.
I know there’s still half a year left to go. Cello lessons can still be arranged. Travel is on the horizon. I’m actually learning a bit of arabic here and there.
I just need a jump start. Motivation. I’ve got all this potential energy, all I need is that initial push; some momentum.
So here I am Universe: