Author: Justin Yu
I’d first like to hold a high regard for the concerns and expectations of the families and friends who want to encourage their loved ones to get married in the same structure or manner as themselves or of others with simliarities. But I do feel that we can and should be able to disagree with them in the advent of independent thought and in the age of dynamic and complex change the world through.
We live in one of the most exciting yet conflicting times in human history: where tradition and culture clash every moment with revolutionary behavioral and social change due to the internet, technology and mass globalization. People and society are evolving, whether for better or worse, just as isolated species evolved from one manner to the next. As change inevitably comes, there will be conflict and resistance, this is just the natural way of things. But that’s not to say that that resistance is not well-founded or illogical; the history that embraces past and current thinking also laid the groundwork for our current being and existence.
However, as evolution has taught, those who cannot adapt to change, more often than not do not survive it. And I conclude that many times traditional thinking has more to do with an underlying and emotional clinging to comfort and conformity than it does with logicality and actual well-being based on context and consideration.
That sounds a little too complex, I’ve even lost myself 😛
But what I mean to say is that although parents, family, or friends DO want the best for their loved ones, in regards to the ideas on marriage given in the above, it seems that their reasoning tends to be based solely on their emotional rationality of what marriage is and should be, not necessarily what actually is. It’s based on the context of their own marriage, history, and emotions, and then it’s projected onto the individual whom they hope to influence. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily, there may be as much or even more good than bad.
But does it make sense? When we have a better understanding and ability TODAY to examine, study, and research marriage than EVER BEFORE, I don’t think so. We can see all the mistakes and misguidance in other peoples lives’ so that we don’t have to make them (or at least try to avoid them). From an economic standpoint, marriage fails more often than it does succeed. And why? I believe that old thinking hasn’t caught up to understand the new context of the world, society, and life for individuals. And when institutions don’t keep up with progress, they become outdated and begin to breakdown.
Therefore, I believe that before we examine the subject of marriage, we have to thoroughly examine ourselves and our relationship with the dynamic world around us. We have to understand the context in which we exist, of which other people come from, and their understandings. We must evaluate what the institutions mean on a fundamental level and then break them down into realistic scenarios that play in our lives and the lives of those around us. Are they okay the way they are now? Must we change? Must they change? Then we can ask ourselves, does it make sense?
Maybe this type of thinking is too rational and progressive for some. I don’t know?