Do I have to create a totally new category for this?
I’m thinking the category should be called…EMO? Errr, I’m sensing it should refer to a controlled yet alluring part of my day when I have a glass or 3 of wine and in essence feeling more emotional and wanting to whine and isn’t that kind of phonetically funny because it’s one and the same word?
Thus dear 10+ readers, I’m creating a new Wednesday spotlight called Wine & Whine Wednesday where I divulge the entirety of my seemingly-stable but ultimately-fragile-and-oh-so-secretly-whiny-heart while gulging at minimum 2 glasses of cheap red wine and maybe the occasional chilled glass of rosé.
Have you heard of that amazing method — “WRITE DRUNK, EDIT SOBER”?
Well my dears you are about to see it unfold in full color on this very blog every Wednesday at the same damn time. Are you ready?
At this very moment I’ve imbibed 1.5 glasses of Tisdale Cabernet Sauvignon. Jordan bought it for me over the weekend and now the whole bottle is gone would you look at that!? Have I already had 3 glasses? Do I have the mental capacity to count properly at this moment or type or think?
I’m normally very chill and non-complainey, most (if not all) of my friends can attest to that. So being able to share a little bit of what might be irking my normally-optimisitic-and-overly-positive mind should be great entertainment, trust me. Sit back and relax because I probably have 3-4 sentences of rambling and ranting…plus 2-3 more run-on sentences being extra with adjectives and adverbs of that sort…and the rest will be a disclosure of Tipsy Charity trying to find her creative literary relevance. I am not even sure who is typing right now…am I meeeeeee? What if I find some new metaphysical plane in my drunken stupor? Seriously…what am I saying right now.
I feel like I can be more far-fetchingly fun when I’ve had at minimum 3 drinks…would you not agree?
So what can I whine about now?
- I’ve always hated beer. Why does it taste like that? What the fuck is wrong with that flavor? It’s bitter yellowish and putrid. I hate it. Why world. Why
- Do Asian women think they are immune to the affects of sugar and gravity and life and motherhood and life and just LIFE? I only know (1) Asian mother/auntie that has kept up with her fitness. And it’s not even just about the aesthetics of being fit and flab-free but health and wellness! WTF is up with that? Let’s not follow in the previous generation’s footsteps please. I’m aware that I’m not a mother myself and would not be able to understand the dynamics of juggling life and motherhood but if you as a mom have the time to post 30 photos on Facebook then you ultimately have time to do 30 squats and pushups everyday. That’s all.
- Ironically, I hate whiners. I hate complaining. I hate people who gripe. But look at me go. Who knew?
Is that all I have right now?
Yes, Charity. That is all. Pffffffft, that was pathetic.
Disclaimer: My rants and rambles will at times be insubstantial, weak, inapposite because hatred and grumbling murmurs are not natural occurences running through my mind. But TRUST ME there will be times where I feel a somewhat passionate detestation for something or someone and you will want to be around for that. For SUUUUUUUUURE.
Alright until next Wine & Whine Wednesday, live a full life with wine-stained lips, you lushes.
Tipsy Charity, out!
Note: My audio recording (above) was made for post preservation. I won’t be able to redact content after recording it real-time.